Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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