Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
