well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize