Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
