Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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