Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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