I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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