Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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