Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
