69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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