I just pynch a tree in the face
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
