dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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