Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
