a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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