I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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