Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
