I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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