Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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