I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
