Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize