Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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