i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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