I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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