Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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