What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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