Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
