Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
