then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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