Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
