Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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