It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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