Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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