suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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