I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
