i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
