so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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