I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
