I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You're earring is so big in my mouth
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
