I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
