new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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