whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
