dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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