He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
