We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize