he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize