Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize