You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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