big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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