Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
