So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
