Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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