I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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