Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
