You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
