Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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