we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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