perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The air taste purple.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
