Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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