who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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