Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
