OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
