I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
