My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize