Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize