im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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