she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
