I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
