What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
