I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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