if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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