sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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