He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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