Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize